I think I have the flu, and we have no heat in our room. I'm going home to rest and get better. I feel like shit.

Its snowing! That means I have an excuse to lay in my bed all day and fight this cold because I'm not risking it to go to work. Its cold in my room cause we have an extra draft due to our extra window...but I have a TV and hot chocolate. I was supposed to go to New York tomorrow and Sunday, but now it looks like I might just be going on Sunday. Oh yeah, we had another fire alarm at four in the morning...I went this time and waited in the cold for an hour. It didn't bode well for my cold.

Last night, I had an epiphany. Yes, me who felt dead for so long is finally alive. I don't know what it was, but all of a sudden I feel as if I'm living again rather than watching everything like a bystander. It feels kind of good.

With that I'll leave you with, "It's times like these you learn to live again." -Foo Fighters

Yeah, for some reason today I feel really out of it. I went to sleep after I came back from Spanish, and it was so weird, I had this dream that I was little again. In my dream, I was like a wall or something watching myself play with this precious moments toy I used to have. Then, I flashed to playing dress-up with my sister. It was weird, because all of these things happened in my past. They weren't dreams. They were really memories. Sudafed fucks you up, let me tell you.

"Six o'clock already I was just in the middle of a dream/ I was kissing Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream/ But I can't be late because then I just won't get paid/ These are the days that you wish your bed was already made." -The Bangles

Pat Benatar is my hero. Its 29 degrees out, according to weatherbug. I want to kill weatherbug because of the annoying chirping sound it makes.

Nine and a half hours of beautiful sleep does a body good. I'm no longer sick.

I wrote a paper that started with, "Imagine a scene." Uggh! Why did I give in to the cliche? My brain is fried. And that's all I have to say about that.

I am a rebel without a cause. Last night, we had a fire alarm, and I did not leave the building. I hid in my room. Shh....don't tell on me. Anyway, yeah so fire alarms are a big problem. So are Spanish final oral assessments. I had one today and did fairly well considering the fact I was not in class on Tuesday. I think I got an A on them which is good, because that is twenty percent of my grade. If I do well on the next two tests I could be pulling an A-. Why do I care? I don't...I just really want to have a good GPA, so in reality I do care. Wow, way to totally contradict yourself, Beth. I'm a nerd at heart, no matter how much of a nonchalant facade I put on to the world.

The discovery of the day: Green tea does not taste good when you put a lemon throat drop in it.
Quote of the day: "Welcome to Whores R US, you pay em we train em. How may I help you?" -Z

We have men on our wall in our bathroom. Mostly, they are hot actors, or seventeen's top ten bachelors. Colin Ferrell is dead center which makes me feel happy. It also makes me feel happy that he gets to see me in a towel every morning. As Monica says, "Scandalous!"

"We are made to bleed/ to scab and heal and bleed again/ and turn every scar into a joke./ We are made to fight/and fuck and talk and fight again/ And sit around and laugh until we choke." -Ani DiFranco

Yeah, that one was for you, Gerard...what what? :P

I think Thanksgiving break is the biggest tease ever. Colleges are like, "Listen we're going to give you four days of no class, but you have to come back for two weeks of pointless bullshit, just to go back on break for a month." Fuck you, college! Anyway, I'm back. And I guess finals aren't pointless bullshit. Ok, maybe they are. Maybe I'm just trying to validate myself for picking this shitty college. That's all I seem to be doing lately--making excuses for myself. However, I am here now, and I put myself here, and I am determined to somehow make the most of it, or find a way out. Since a way out doesn't look promising financially...it looks like making the most of it is the only option I have.