Why the hell am I such a failure? Why am I even here? I'm beginning to think grad school may be a no-go for me if I keep this up.
Why the sudden dose of low self-esteem pills? Well, I went into class today, confident in my presentation I had to present. A presentation worth 25% of my grade by the way. Anyway, so I get there and talk about, what was in my opinion, a really good and thorough topic. In my professor's opinion...not so much. He basically went on to say in not so harsh words "how he was new to the honors program at Temple, but it didn't seem like my presentation was 'Honors thorough.'" And when I tried to rebut this, and asked for comments from the class, he kept making weird facial epressions at the kid next to him, as if to say "This is a waste of time." Who knows, maybe it was, but don't embarass me in front of a class full of people who are my friends.
To rub salt in the wound, the girl following me had a good presentation, but in regards to references in the book she was really all over the place. Of course, he loved it. As organized as I was, at the end of my presentation he cut me off saying there was no more time for me, even though I had the whole bulk of my presentation to go. At the end of hers, he said, "Keep talking, I love when you talk smart."
I feel like a failure, and I really don't belong here as evidenced by what my professor said. I think that this would have hurt a lot less if I didn't like the guy, which I do. He's one of the best professors I've had, surprisingly. I guess I've just never been put down that publicly in a class full of people before.
In the end, at the end of the day, as we used to say in high school, I'm just a "fake smart person." Well, this fake smart person is curling up in her bed tonight like a caterpillar in a cocoon, and I won't emerge until I feel like a butterfly.
Why the sudden dose of low self-esteem pills? Well, I went into class today, confident in my presentation I had to present. A presentation worth 25% of my grade by the way. Anyway, so I get there and talk about, what was in my opinion, a really good and thorough topic. In my professor's opinion...not so much. He basically went on to say in not so harsh words "how he was new to the honors program at Temple, but it didn't seem like my presentation was 'Honors thorough.'" And when I tried to rebut this, and asked for comments from the class, he kept making weird facial epressions at the kid next to him, as if to say "This is a waste of time." Who knows, maybe it was, but don't embarass me in front of a class full of people who are my friends.
To rub salt in the wound, the girl following me had a good presentation, but in regards to references in the book she was really all over the place. Of course, he loved it. As organized as I was, at the end of my presentation he cut me off saying there was no more time for me, even though I had the whole bulk of my presentation to go. At the end of hers, he said, "Keep talking, I love when you talk smart."
I feel like a failure, and I really don't belong here as evidenced by what my professor said. I think that this would have hurt a lot less if I didn't like the guy, which I do. He's one of the best professors I've had, surprisingly. I guess I've just never been put down that publicly in a class full of people before.
In the end, at the end of the day, as we used to say in high school, I'm just a "fake smart person." Well, this fake smart person is curling up in her bed tonight like a caterpillar in a cocoon, and I won't emerge until I feel like a butterfly.