He kissed me good-bye last night under the stars. It was three in the morning, and neither of us wanted to say good-bye, but the lack of sleep was taking its toll on our eyes. I feel like a little kid again, hopeful and excited, and only he could revive those feelings in me again. Sleeping beauty was awakened by her prince. :)

Going Under
Evanescence

Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming Deceiving and Bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
(I’m going under)
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again

I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again

I'm going under
Drowing in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through

So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under


Ok so this is my confession. I loved you. I worshipped the ground you walked on. And to quote Paula Cole, "I believed you were my god."

For two and a half years I suffered in silence. I lay there in bed with you while you discussed your love of the countless other girls, silently taking in my pain. Everytime you talked of her, I would imagine a knife cutting out my heart. Because that is what it felt like.

When I finally told you how I felt, you flew off the handle, but when you realized that it was ok to feel something for me, it was great. Until out of nowhere you started ignoring me. So fuck it. I'm done. I'm not going to chase you, call you or e-mail you, if you are wondering about my silence this past month. I am not going to constantly set myself up for nothing. You need to be free to find out what you want, and I need that for myself as well.

You have time, and I will always love you.

P.S. I am the type of girl who likes to get flowers.

"It's not a man, Dawson, its a woman." -Joey, Dawson's Creek

Yeah, damn straight Joey, it is a woman. I really should be studying for a test; however, I am here watching re-runs of Dawson's Creek and Saved By the Bell. I am going to a Flyers game tonight with Frank, woohoo! The only problem is half their lines are hurt. So let me rephrase that, I will be going to see the Phantoms play tonight. :P

I am not understanding this thing which I am supposed to understand by now. I'm sorry. Could you repeat the question? It seems that things go in one ear and out the other, and I am just not ready to take the leap. Thanks for understanding.

Everyone has a theory, but no one really knows just what the hell they are saying.

I look around me at the girls in my religion class and half of them have engagement rings. Now, granted most of these girls are juniors or seniors, and are either 21 or 22. Still, what makes them want to jump in so young? Is it really love or lust? And do they honestly believe in "til death do you part," or just until the something bad happens? I am not one to answer these questions; however, I am not getting married anytime soon, and that is a very good thing.

" I was naïve/Your love was like candy/Artificially sweet/I was deceived by the wrapping/Got caught in your web/And I learned how to plead/I was prey in your bed/And devoured completely/And it hurts my soul/Cos I can't let go/All these walls are caving in/I can't stop my suffering/I hate to show that I've lost control/Cos I, I keep going right back/To the one thing that I need to walk away from." -Christina Aguilera, Walk Away

Wow could this day get any better? First, I found out I got into Phi Sig Pi, and I'm psyched about that, and then Gerard made me a moderator of my very own liberal news network board on his forum. So everyone check it out, and help me defend my liberal hippie views from a self proclaimed "pre-maturely bald, 5-foot-Nothing bigot." That's Zombo for ya.

http://gerardnet.net/forum/index.php


And to answer Erica's question about Barbie and Ken, Barbie would get the dream house because she's the one who makes all the money. Besides, Ken didn't want to commit. In reference to this, I would like to state for the record, despite popular belief and countless make believe weddings in my own Barbie games, Mattel acknowledges that Ken never married Barbie.

Hahahaha...the fact that people left their "awws" on my xanga comments made me laugh so hard. Thanks for making my day, guys.

Anyway, yesterday was so much fun. I didn't fall at all. I was like a natural Michelle Kwan out there on the ice. ;) I guess watching all those hockey games and figure skating competitions paid off. I also received a Bedtime Bear Care bear yesterday, which is my favorite Care Bear ever. Ok, you can all say, "aww" again. LOL :) It was such a good day! :)

P.S. Oh my God...copy and paste this web address. Even Barbie and ken are splitting up!
http://entertainment.msn.com/news/article.aspx?news=149771