Her page is on my favorites and I read it everyday, yet I have never met her. Read it. It definitely put things into perspective today. Well done, backporchpoet.

Its when you grow up that you learn life isn't always peaches and roses, and that there are dark secrets in every family tree.

What's the point? Why do I even bother? Love isn't forever, so why the hell should I even try?

Its not a good day.

So yeah I know...two entries, but I had to share this.

I no longer feel that John Mayer sold out with his new album. It took a year, but its grown on me, and I'm thinking I had to grow to understand it-- to reach this point where I like it. Ok, that last sentence was complete bullshit, but its true, that this year I am at a different point in my life than where I was last year. I'm at the point where I'm getting rid of the last remnants of my teenage life. Things have calmed down for the most part (knock on wood), and angsty-ness is not an option.

So yeah...John Mayer....good job on the new album. Its a year too late, but what can I say...I'm a slow learner.

"I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me" -John Mayer, Wheels

I have a lot of things on my mind right now, as well I should, because its finals week.

So yeah--update on finals: don't even ask.

Its more than that though. I don't feel like sharing.

My sister told me to listen to this song because it reminded her of where I was at one point in my life.

Just read it.

"Because Of You"
Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you

"Something unusual, something strange
Comes from nothing at all
But I'm not a miracle
And you're not a saint
Just another soldier
On the road to nowhere" -Damien Rice

I had a really bad dream last night. I think I'm still shaken up. It felt so real.

I hate finals, and I don't want to go back to school.

This is not a good way to start this week.