It's amazing how petty, ignorant, and immature people can be. You know, you think you know some people, you think they are your friends, and in the end they turn around and screw you over. They stab you in the back, and don't stick up for you when you need someone to stick up for you, and they go on and crucify you like everyone else, before they know the whole story. I'm not going to prom. I'm not dealing with this anymore. I hate them all. Congratulations, you guys, you succeeded in making my life miserable. Not that it would be miserable cause I'm not going to prom, but because I've realized how stupid I was to think and trust them as my friends.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so sick of all the shit I have to deal with everyday, and all this prom and school crap. I'm about to be done with it all. I don't even want to go to prom, how did I get all this stuff put on me? This has been a bad day in what seems to be a weekly series of them. I am soooo ready to graduate its not even funny. Why can't something go right? I mean like in love, for instance, or school, or anything... I can't take it anymore.

"She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah. She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah." So I have Beatles songs stuck in my head today. Yay Beatles! I love John Lennon. If only I could find a guy like him, then I could be his Yoko Ono. Sadly, I know that he isn't out there, and I am not a screaming Japanese woman. So my lifelong dream can never come true. Well, as Kate Hudson says, "On to the next!"

I'm so glad we got this trolley thing sorted out because I was really beginning to think that there was some cosmic plot out there designed for me not to go to prom. Now I'm not saying I actually want to go to prom...I'm just saying that there was a plot against me. I really don't want to go though. 140 dollars for one night of bad food, crappy music, and picture taking Nazis. Plus, my best friend won't even be there. Oh well, I'll survive.

Too many things in my head, but I forget them all. I wanted to write something inspiring today, something interesting to say, but that something went away. Is it surprising?....I thought not. Maybe if I wrote it on my forehead I would remember.

If I had it written on my forehead though, would you condemn me? Would you stand and point and laugh at me, like I was a circus act? (Circus theme plays through my head) Yeah, life is a circus, and I'm the ring leader under the big top. Damn. No more ketchup in the refrigerator. Must have ketchup...

So I came back with the ketchup. Now my fries are cold, I'm wondering why, got out of bed at all.... Ok I realize I plagiarize a lot. Is it lack of motivation or creativity or what?

I'm hopelessly in love....and he'll never know. Isn't that motivation enough?

April Fools. Tuesday Blues. Wesley Willis...what? Tonight: First Unitarian Church at 22nd and Chestnut. Rock and Roll McDonald's.

When will it all end?....the war, and the world, and my life, and yours. I look at his chocolate, innocent, baby eyes, and wonder: what type of world are you growing up into? I look at the news (when will it stop?) and try to block it out, but it doesn't work. The nightmares won't ever stop.

I am so sick and tired of prom, and prom dresses, and boys, and senioritis, and college, and high school. I want to escape my teachers who track me down like I'm some sort of prey for their sick and twisted plans. I won't be molded and formed into a perfect little Catholic school girl, as they want me to be. I won't be forced to obey rules by Nazi's who try to control every thought and feeling inside my brain. Sitting here and wishing I was someone else or somewhere else is not an option anymore. I'm changing, the world is changing, and "life chose me after all." So guess what? You didn't win! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I laugh at you, you sad, sick, and evil self. You are dead to me. So, back off, bitch!

Its amazing the clarity that comes from sitting back and listening to the world around you that you escape the "self-inflicted exile" and feel the place where God and music and soul and sex and desire all reside, in a passion for life, in a parallel to the source, where I realize that I am the only one here. HEY WAKE UP! YOU ARE THE INSPIRATION! don't doubt it.