"So...let go. Just let go. Jump in. Oh well whatcha waiting for? It's alright, cause there's beauty in the breakdown. So let go. Just get in. Oh it's so amazing here. It's alright, cause there's beauty in the breakdown." -Frou Frou

Yeah... here's my breakdown. I'm tired of people telling me that money isn't all there is to life. I know it isn't, and there is such a thing as love which comes for free, but in order to survive...you have to have money. I got my paycheck today and it is fity dollars short of what I expected. My tuition is due next week. My bank account is zero.

I really don't understand how some people can be really lucky and not have to pay a cent for tuition because either they received a full scholarship, or their parents pay for all of it. My parents don't pay any of my tuition, and whatever I borrow from them in order to pay tuition or for groceries I have to pay back right away. I've worked my ass off for everything I have and its still not enough. My good grades in high school weren't enough for a full scholarship (aka the "merit scholarship" Fitz had for Temple was really not based on "merit," but it was based on financial need. Fuck me, because my dad makes too much, but not enough to pay my tuition), and my pay for the hours of work I complete never amounts to the bills I owe. I guess this is growing up.

I wake up every morning at 8 a.m. for class or work, and go to bed at 11, but wind up not falling asleep until 3 or 4 a.m. because of the loud surroundings I live in now. Call it lack of sleep, or whatever the hell you want, but I am breaking down.

Chemistry is officially kicking my ass.

I want to run away with you and we can get far far away from everything and live by ourselves and raise our kids and be happy and never need money because we can just imagine it and it will appear.

When we cross a line in friendship or with words we say, we can never go back. We can never return to how things were. The action took place and as much as we will it away it is still there. You can't turn back time.

I raise my glass to aimlessness and aimlessosity. And to making up my own words.

One more class and then I am done for the day. Wait...no, I'm not. I still have lots to read.

Grr to school.

I have so much to do today, but I can look forward to 2:30 when all I have to do is make phone calls. Then, I can rest until 8 when I have my first fraternity meeting of the year. I'm the co-chairperson of the service committee, and I really have no idea what is going on, but I'm sure I'll figure it out as I go. I have to go all the way across campus which is kind of scary at night, but I will have people with me at least some of the way.

Today is Dustin and my seven month anniversary. I love him the mostestestest ever! :)

He saves half the bubbles on a soda lid for me to pop. :-)

Well I am tired of this xanga drama. I'm back to blogger, and believe me, I missed you. Now I can actually upload images to this site rather than linking them. Rock steady roll ready.

It is finished.