As I sit here at work with the rain running down the trailer's windows and roof, I think that these are the types of days that scream of curling up in bed and sleeping/reading a good book. The thought crossed my mind, believe me, but I need the money to pay tuition to this dump, which is my employer, my educational center, and my home for two years. How did I get so wrapped up in a place that at one point last year, I absolutely despised? Not sure, but when I find the answer, I'll be sure to enlighten you.

Its not that I hate it here. In fact, I kind of like the familiar-ness of it. After all, sometime last year, I began to call it home, but now, I've grown somewhat complacent with life, and that is a bad place to be. I used to say that I loved complacency, and I loved not feeling anything...because hell knows, it was better than the tormenting pain I felt every day. But now, I feel like I owe it to myself to feel again about my surroundings.

Don't get me wrong, I am not completely complacent. There really are only two people that can make me feel when I am around them, both in two very different ways. They know who they are, and if it wasn't for them, I probably wouldn't be here typing this lengthy journal entry. I just want to start connecting to other people again instead of being sequestered in my own little world.

I doubt it will happen though.