I suppose I shouldn't be as open as I was in the past on this thing. I'm thinking of starting to write in my paper journal again. That way, I can write whatever the hell I feel like without having to worry about the repercussions of what I say.

Why the sudden change of heart? Well, I was going to write something today, but I thought better of it, judging on how other people would react to what I say. Its not cool that I should have to censor myself. I need to be free to write how I feel and what I feel, when I feel it. In a paper journal I can do that.

I think I'm going to tear out the beginning pages of my paper journal from last year. Something is telling me that if anyone ever read what I said in those pages...mainly, one person in particular, it would hurt them a lot. However, I am still tied to those pages. They are a part of my history, but maybe its a good thing to "clean out your closet." The fact that I can part with them proves that I really have moved on. I can read them without crying, and that was the last frontier. But when it comes down to the wire, and its me holding a stack of journal paper at the mouth of the trash can, will I throw them in?

Probably not.