I found your webjournal, and saw that you put it back online. I read past entries that I remember reading at a time when I was so infatuated with you. Now, reading them with all thoughts of infatuation gone from my head, I realized that the entries when you talked about me were written in a tone as if I was just a buddy or pal. Always "hanging out," and never dating. That's all I was to you wasn't it? A pal, someone you could call on for a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or just for some ass. I remember distinctly that whenever I had a problem, you would brush it away like it was nothing, just a menial little 18 year old melodrama to you. Even though those were the things that really hurt me. I always listened to you, but you never really heard what I said.

Tarah told me that hindsight is 20/20, which I believe now. People do change, and I feel that I have changed for the better. Please, don't feel that you are completely gone from my head or heart, as I learned a lot from you, and I will always remember you and what we had. But things are different now. I have changed a lot in the past year, a lot that you haven't been there for, and I think little Beth is all grown up now. I have a boyfriend who actually loves me, not someone who puts on the facade of love. I have friends at this school that you made me want to hate so much, but ended up at the very end of this year actually loving. Still, I wonder, I've found my place, but have you found yours?

I leave you all with a quote from Tarah that totally made my day, "Here's to men whose heads on their shoulders are bigger than the one in their pants...may they suffer from severe genital pain the rest of thier lives...cheers!"