After 14 batches of cookies, 24 applesauce cakes, and a grand total of three wrapped presents in a mound of 2000 (ok I'm exaggerating with the presents...the baked stuff...I'm definitely not), I realized something. Christmas isn't about getting or giving gifts, it isn't about how many pounds you put on, but rather, Christmas is about the twenty years it takes from my life every year I do all of this shit.

I just ate a whole order of fries, chicken nuggets, and a large milkshake. Gerard says he is proud of me. I am only disgusted at what college has done to me. There was a time when I couldn't finish my meals due to lack of stomach room...now, I scarf it down in ten minutes.

Christina Aguilera rocks. If only I could pull off the nose and lip ring approach, I'd have it made. Buenos dias and feliz navidad!